In this article we are going to discuss about The 7 Types of Cheaters in a relationship – And Why They Cheat.
When I say the word “cheater,” what comes to mind? I’m thinking someone who engages in intimacy outside of a relationship. Cheating, my friend, is a lot more complicated than that.
People who cheat betray for a variety of reasons, depending on their personality type.
For example, have you ever seen the movie Last Night? Last night movie is a story about the inner workings of a marriage in which both partners are seduced by different kinds of infidelity following an intense disagreement.
This movie represent the complexities of relationships as well as the different ways in which people might be disloyal in their relationship.
Some scams are driven by qualities such as narcissism or entitlement. Here we will share 7 Types of Cheaters in a relationship.
Others cheat out of tedium or a lack of self-esteem. Some people enjoy the excitement of investigating and getting away with it.
Some cheat out of a fear of intimacy. Then there are individuals who betray because their emotional or physical needs are not being fulfilled in their relationship.
After all, cheating is a complex subject. So, when we discuss the many types of cheating, we go beyond intimate physical contact.
Let’s try to understand some reason why people cheat. Our goal is to help our readers in developing stronger and more satisfying connections.
The 7 Types of Cheaters – And Why They Cheat
According to psychotherapist Esther Perel, “the reason for divorce nowadays is not because people are unhappy, but because they believe they can be happier.” We live in a time when leaving is not considered a sin.
Overstaying when you have the option of leaving is the new shame. But, since divorce and breakups are no longer looked upon, why do people still cheat?
Perhaps a shocking occurrence, such as the loss of a close relative, disturbs them causing them to reassess their own relationship or marriage.
There are popular 7 Types of Cheaters in a relationship you can read here.
They ask themselves questions such as… Is this the end? Is there anything more to life? Will I ever experience love again? Do I have to go on like this for another 25 years?
As Esther points out, infidelity is way more complex and deep-rooted than it seems on the surface level.
And so, to understand the reasons behind the different types of cheating or infidelity, we have to first know the different kinds of cheaters:
#1. The self-destructive cheater
The first 7 Types of Cheaters in a relationship on our list is someone who regularly self-sabotages.
Because they are frightened of ending the relationship, such cheaters engage in activities that push their partner away.
It’s as if they’re trying to create circumstances that will compel their partner to call it quits.
A cheating partner may go to extraordinary lengths.
For example, they may frequently cause drama in the relationship in order to receive ongoing reassurance from their partner. You will get more help from some key point shared here to understand more about 7 Types Of Cheaters in a relationship.
If you’re wondering why such self-destructors cheat in relationships, consider the following:
- As the relationship progresses and things start to get serious, their fear of abandonment overpowers them. Then they enter a mode of self-destruction. It’s as if their fear takes control and they can’t help but sabotage what they have
- Deep down, they carry a fear of rejection, and it drives them to push their loved ones away before they can experience the pain of being rejected
- Sometimes, their insecure attachment style plays a role in this behavior as well, making it challenging for them to trust and form healthy emotional connections
- They have a deep fear that their independence might get compromised in a committed relationship. So, to still feel free or liberated enough, they resort to self-destructive behavior like cheating
#2. Types of cheaters – The wounded one
We’re talking about wounded cheaters here, the ones who have fallen out of love with their partners. In such a case, this is why people cheat:
- This specific type of cheating tends to stem from a deep-rooted issue, like a lack of love and childhood trauma
- Cheating is not just about s*x or physical intimacy for them. This is a part of major Types Of Cheaters in a relationship.
- It’s primarily about seeking attention, a sense of importance, and that feeling of being truly special.
Carol (27) from New York City, for instance, says, “I was tired of doing what was always expected of me.” I was fed up with being a good mother, wife, and daughter.
I simply desired the adolescence I never had. I needed to feel safe and alive.
I wasn’t looking for a lovely person to go on a date with or a good guy to patiently listen to me.
I was just seeking for another version of myself. That’s when I started cheating on my husband.”
Why is it that a cheater displays no remorse? Kris Jenner, who cheated on her husband, Robert Kardashian, comes to mind.
In her book, she confessed to the guy she had cheated with, “He kissed me and I kissed him back.”
I hadn’t had a kiss like that in ten years. It made me feel younger, more attractive, s*xier, and more alive.
With these emotions came a rush of sickness.
At the same moment, I felt like throwing up. Because it occurred to me that I hadn’t felt that way about Robert in years.”
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#3. The serial cheater
Remember Rachel’s mother telling her, “Once a cheater, always and a repeater”? This hypothesis does apply to repeated cheaters in many circumstances. This is a major Types Of Cheaters in a relationship people often experience.
These individuals are frequently compulsive liars as well. This is the method of cheating in a relationship where the cheater has the expertise, practice, and experience to avoid being caught.
They are continuously texting others, swiping dating apps, and engaging in hookups.
But, first of all, why do they cheat? Here are some of the reasons:
- Having a variety brings thrill and adrenaline rush to them, therefore they engage in different levels of cheating
- Their commitment issues are deep-rooted and self-esteem is crumbled. So they fill that incompleteness by doing something that is ‘forbidden’
- To avoid feeling what they are feeling, they keep wanting several things that they can’t have
- They almost get a kick out of being rebellious and breaking norms
According to one study on popular 7 Types of Cheaters in a relationship, getting away with cheating makes people feel happy.
It’s characterized as the ‘cheater’s high.’ Doing something immoral and illegal causes people to choose their “want” self over their “should” self.
Instead of thinking about the long-term effects on their reputation or relationship, they get obsessed with the immediate pleasure and short-term objectives.
#4. The revenge cheater
Cheating for revenge is a real phenomenon. And believe me, people can do some strange things in their seek for revenge. Take, for example, comedian Tiffany Haddish, who recently described her own vendetta story.
“My boyfriend cheated on me on videotape on my birthday,” she said.
I felt like he had awful on my soul, so I resolved to throw up on his shoes.”
If people are prepared to go to such lengths as urinate in footwear, is it any surprise that some may bow to cheating for revenge?
Someone who cheats for vengeance is a cosmopolitan type of cheater who engages in infidelity for payback.
Let me tell you about Serena’s experience. Her partner cheated on her, so she slept with his best buddy in revenge.
She wanted to cause him to suffer the same pain and betrayal she had – “a taste of his own medicine,” as she put it. This type of cheater operates with anger and a ‘tit for tat’ attitude.
#5. Emotional cheater is one of the types of cheaters
What are signs that an affair is developing into love?
Jessica Simpson, the American singer, said in her biography Open Book that she had an emotional affair with co-star Johnny Knoxville during her marriage to Nick Lachey.
“I could share my deepest authentic thoughts with him and he didn’t roll his eyes at me,”
She wrote. He truly admired how clever I was and how I accepted my flaws. First and foremost, we were both married, so there would be no physical contact.
This is another Types of Cheaters in a relationship and people can’t escape from this.
But an emotional affair was worse than a physical one in my view. It’s bizarre, because I had put so much emphasis on s*x by not having it before marriage.
After having s*x, I realized that the emotional aspect was what was essential… Johnny and I had that, which appeared to me to be a far greater betrayal of my marriage than s*x.”
As a result, if you’re wondering what kind of people cheat, you should be aware of the emotional cheater.
They extend beyond a person’s outward appearance. Emotional cheaters may be cosmopolitan types of cheaters who have emotionally unavailable or workaholic partners.
According to Jessica Simpson, an emotional affair begins as a friendship outside of a relationship or marriage.
it develops into a more intimate connection with extended vulnerable dialogues and emotional attachment. It could lead to a physical affair or not.
Why do people conduct emotional infidelity? This interesting study on why people cheat in relationships may provide some answers.
This survey gathered 495 people (mainly heteros*xual) who had admitted to cheating in their relationships. You can experience it with different Types of Cheaters in a relationship.
The researchers inquired as to why the subjects cheated. It turns out that the majority of them had an emotional tie to their affair partner.
But here’s the really interesting part: it was far more common among individuals who said they felt ignored or unwanted in their primary relationship. The following are the study’s key findings:
- Around 62.8% of the participants admitted to expressing affection toward their new partner
- A similar proportion, 61.2%, engaged in s*xually explicit conversations with them
- About 37.6% of them had intimate conversations, while 11.1% even said the words “I love you”
- It seems that for those who felt less connected to their primary partner, the affair helped them find a way to experience greater emotional intimacy and fulfill that need for connection
- What’s fascinating is that when infidelity was due to a lack of love in the primary relationship, the individuals involved found the experience more intellectually and emotionally satisfying. It’s like they were seeking that missing love and connection elsewhere and found it in the affair
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#6. The cheater with a high s*x drive (and low self-control)
“S*x drive’s excellent energy,” writes Haruki Murakami in his novel Hard-Boiled Wonderland and the End of the World. You can’t argue with that.
Your pleasure can make you a Types of Cheaters in a relationship.
Keep your s*x urge locked up inside, and you’ll become dull-witted. It knocks your entire body out of whack. This is true for both men and women.”
So having a s*x desire isn’t always a bad thing.
According to one study, not all people with strong s*xual drives are prone to adultery.
People with poor self-control, on the other hand, are more prone to cheat. Fetish cheaters (especially if they have a s*xual addiction) may also be among them.
The BDSM quirks of the people involved may motivate a fetish cheater to cheat. You can consider intimacy as a major reason why people become different Types of Cheaters in a relationship.
#7. The online cheater
Nowadays, having online affairs is one of the numerous methods used to cheat in a relationship.
Sharing DMs on Instagram/Facebook, writing comments, utilizing dating apps like Tinder, and sharing nudes to strangers are all forms of infidelity in this virtual world.
These online conversations or social media cheating may or may not result in in-person encounters.
Researchers discovered that more than 10% of participants in a survey of 183 adults in relationships had acquired intimate internet contacts.
Approximately 8% had had cybers*x, and 6% had met their internet lovers in person. You can read about different Types of Cheaters in a relationship and why they cheat in relationship.
It’s worth mentioning that more over half of the participants considered online dating to be cheating or unfaithfulness.
- Some individuals with low self-esteem may seek validation and attention through these online interactions. They may feel a sense of affirmation and importance when someone shows an interest in them (it’s much easier to get validation online after all)
- Others might cheat out of boredom, craving some excitement that is lacking in their current relationship. And as we know, the online world is full of temptation
- It could also be an attention-seeking tendency, where they enjoy the thrill of getting attention and online responses from others
- They are shy or have health issues, or connecting with people in real life is just hard for them. Internet makes these barriers go away
‘Rethinking Infidelity… a talk for anybody who has ever loved,’ she says in her thought-provoking TED talk.
According to Esther Perel, “at the heart of an affair lies a longing and yearning for emotional connection, novelty, freedom, autonomy, s*xual intensity, a wish to recapture lost parts of ourselves, and an attempt to bring back vitality in the face of loss and tragedy.”
You can read more about some other Types of Cheaters in a relationship and how to stop them shared on blog.
Regardless of the sorts of cheaters or the reasons for their acts, the guilt of betraying a spouse and the anguish of being deceived can cause significant emotional damage to one’s mental health.
Healing from these wounds and reestablishing trust can be life-changing experiences. However, in some situations, this journey might require the assistance of an expert.
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Key Pointers
Understanding the most common types of cheating in a relationship can help you monitor your actions and avoid acts that can hurt your partner
Revenge cheaters are motivated by their rage and resentment toward a partner who has cheated on them, and they feel that revenge cheating is the only way to hurt their partner as badly as they were hurt themselves
Serial cheaters tend to have low or no remorse, are deeply insecure, and constantly need validation from others
Online cheating (or cyber infidelity) doesn’t involve physical intimacy in most cases, but the lies, secrecy, and betrayal that come with cyber affairs can ruin a relationship.
All these above Types of Cheaters in a relationship and the main concern to understand people why cheating become a part in their relationship they need to think about it.
